My parents came and went this week, there visits are always gone in a flash and I'm left crying on the doorstep with Safin everytime. I'm 25 years old and I can't ever see a day where I won't cry to say bye to my parents as long as they live 10 hours away, I always thought it would get easier but in reality it only gets harder. They drove up on a whim thanks to a mistake by my dads work who gave him the wrong week off (he was supposed to have last week off for my moms Houston trip and instead got this past week off) So they decided what better time than to drive 10 hours to visit and meet the new puppy. The days went by fast and were exhausting but totally fun. We did lots of biking, shopping, playing with the puppy, tennis, cooking, eating, and one trip to the mountains. Most days I can't understand why on earth I live so far away, I keep thinking life is too short to live this far away from my family and especially my mom who is battling cancer. I haven't laughed so hard or felt so good about myself in a long time during the days they were here, and that makes me sad. Maybe its just I always feel this way when they leave or maybe its winter looming in the distance, but when my dad asked me the other day if I was still happy here I hesitated for the first time in years, I responded with a "well I don't hate it here". It's true I don't hate it here or hate my life. I love my husband, my cat, and my puppy (in that order). I love our house and the life we have here, I like my job, but I love that I have my own office and I work 5 minutes from home. For the past two years I've told myself this is just for now, so we can have a good life for the money instead of living in a one bedroom 500 square foot apartment in Florida ... but is it worth it? Somedays (like yesterday) I don't care and I would rather live in closet in Florida and be close to my family then live in a mansion here and see them once a month. So I'm torn between the reality of the life we have now and the life that I can dream we will have some day. That I can be close enough to go to my parents for dinner or actually close enough to go and hug my mom if I'm having a bad day. It makes me cry just to think about it, because I wish I could just pack up and move tomorrow ... but I know I can't. So my dad says for now we just have to Enjoy the time we have together ... and that's just what I keep trying to do.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Enjoy the time we have together ...
My parents came and went this week, there visits are always gone in a flash and I'm left crying on the doorstep with Safin everytime. I'm 25 years old and I can't ever see a day where I won't cry to say bye to my parents as long as they live 10 hours away, I always thought it would get easier but in reality it only gets harder. They drove up on a whim thanks to a mistake by my dads work who gave him the wrong week off (he was supposed to have last week off for my moms Houston trip and instead got this past week off) So they decided what better time than to drive 10 hours to visit and meet the new puppy. The days went by fast and were exhausting but totally fun. We did lots of biking, shopping, playing with the puppy, tennis, cooking, eating, and one trip to the mountains. Most days I can't understand why on earth I live so far away, I keep thinking life is too short to live this far away from my family and especially my mom who is battling cancer. I haven't laughed so hard or felt so good about myself in a long time during the days they were here, and that makes me sad. Maybe its just I always feel this way when they leave or maybe its winter looming in the distance, but when my dad asked me the other day if I was still happy here I hesitated for the first time in years, I responded with a "well I don't hate it here". It's true I don't hate it here or hate my life. I love my husband, my cat, and my puppy (in that order). I love our house and the life we have here, I like my job, but I love that I have my own office and I work 5 minutes from home. For the past two years I've told myself this is just for now, so we can have a good life for the money instead of living in a one bedroom 500 square foot apartment in Florida ... but is it worth it? Somedays (like yesterday) I don't care and I would rather live in closet in Florida and be close to my family then live in a mansion here and see them once a month. So I'm torn between the reality of the life we have now and the life that I can dream we will have some day. That I can be close enough to go to my parents for dinner or actually close enough to go and hug my mom if I'm having a bad day. It makes me cry just to think about it, because I wish I could just pack up and move tomorrow ... but I know I can't. So my dad says for now we just have to Enjoy the time we have together ... and that's just what I keep trying to do.
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