Every mile a memory ...

Trying to cope with the loss of my horse has been very hard for me. I think partly because I'm not with my mom, who I know is grieving as hard as I am. My mom brought up in our emails that she hasn't felt this bad since the loss of her mom, my grandma and I have to say I feel the same. I don't think I've ever been this upset over the loss of any of my previous pets, but Dusty's been in my backyard basically my whole life. How am I supposed to go home and look at that empty barn and not see his face or drive by and see him sleeping in the grass. I've been trying to think of a tribute to him, a plaque with his picture, a scrapbook of his life, or maybe a bench that we can sit at the barn and think of him and all the days he spent out there on neighborhood watch ... nothing seems good enough right now. But I'm hoping a trip to Hobby Lobby this weekend will help spark my creativity into something really nice. I didn't realize how many pictures of him I had on my fridge, in my room, in my photo albums until I actually went searching for them and then it just didn't quite feel like enough. I keep thinking why didn't I take any pictures this weekend at home, but I guess because you could see it in his face that he just wasn't feeling himself, and I don't think I'd want to remember him hobbling around. This has been a really hard week for me, and I know the future will hold some very sad days ... but I hope one day I can think of him and smile and know that he's running around in heaven with Pitha and Grandma, the soccer's, zorro the cat, snoopy, lucky ... if all dogs go to heaven (like the movie says) then I know horses have to go too.